


Into Your Silver Core

by REINDOWN



Series: A Future of Outstretched Arms [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Drabble, Drabble Collection, M/M, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Past, Short, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 16:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8808403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/REINDOWN/pseuds/REINDOWN
Summary: A buzz and a sharp whine are the only warnings Hijikata gets before he opens his eyes to the Shiroyasha. And this is definitely not the Gintoki he knows.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a collection of one shots, drabbles etc. of Gintama. If you enjoy this, then please take a look at the rest of the series~

“Yeah but why do I got to come with ya?” Hijikata complained, whacking Gintoki and sending his permy head jolting forward with an oft! In response, Gintoki glared grumpily.   
“Because I'll only be two minutes! Can you hang on that long, your royal highness?!”  
“You're not just after my wallet, are ya?!”  
“Not unless you're offering.” Gintoki sent a few stones skittering with a huff and a flick of his boot.  
“Well I won't be; I didn't bring it.” Hijikata blew smoke into Gintoki's face until he whined and scratched at the air, muttering curses. They finally rounded the corner to Gengai's and Gintoki adjusted his grip on the rice cooker in his hand. The old man saw them coming and gave an immediate groan, followed by the sight of his back as he tried to sneak inside his garage.  
“Oi! Old man! Don't ignore me!”

Hijikata sighed heavily as Gintoki scampered away, growling insults and throwing a fit at the old man. He presented the item in his hands and Gengai eyed it like it was offending him. Whilst Gintoki stomped his feet in a tantrum, Hijikata once again wondered why he was casually dating this buffoon. His fingers played with a row of broken clocks, wires and batteries lining a desk near the entrance. Knowing Gintoki, 'two minutes' could end up two hours because he was that chatty. Not forgetting that he was a magnet for trouble.  
They had been on their way to a bar; it was evening and the sun was dipping further from sight over the horizon, casting a sort of murky grey light from behind the cumulating clouds. It was safe to say there had been a fair bit of whining from both ends when Gintoki announced he wanted to stop off here first. It wasn't often they went out – Hijikata had better things to do and there was a large part of him that refused to admit he'd had sex with his idiot.

He could no longer put it down to a mistake though, because the perm-haired pest had done no more than grunt a few words into his neck and he'd practically dragged Gintoki home to make the mistake a second time. And the demon commander didn't repeat mistakes, especially not seven times. So this wasn't a mistake, unfortunately. He didn't know what it was, though.

“300 yen is enough for this pile of shit!” Gintoki broke Hijikata's train of thought with a yell and he found himself rolling his eyes. He'd have to fork out his wallet soon (yeah, he'd lied) and pay just to get them out of here faster.  
“It's a pile of shit which is why it will take more than 300 yen to fix it!”  
“You rip off old man.” 

Hijikata drowned out the noise again and started flicking a few switches on the dead equipment before him. There was a metal disfigurement on the table, opened up like a dead carcass with its insides spilled everywhere. He thumbed the buttons absent mindedly, until a sudden jolt ran through his fingers. Hijikata looked at his hands in surprise, feeling the buzz melt away slowly. 

Shit, must have still been connected. He mused. That was close. Could'a electrocuted myself.

As it happened, something much, much worse began.

The buzzing fired up stronger and Hijikata couldn't tell if the deafening noise was inside his head or out; in seconds, his whole body was rattling with a numb sort of charge. There was an electric whine in his ear and he just caught Gintoki's cute fuddled brow looking over – ah, he said it was cute – when he vanished.

He literally felt himself vanish.

The sensation was so odd that he couldn't even panic. He glanced around himself and felt like he wasn't seeing anything, which was possibly an odder feeling than that of vanishing. Would he call this white? Or just blank? There was nothing around him – nothing at all.

He crashed into reality with a jolt, the foreign feelings evaporating into dust as the world settled back into focus. It wasn't the world he was expecting. Gone were Gintoki and Gengai - instead he was surrounded by a wide plain that had been desecrated by fires. It was charred black but the remnants of a village jutted out from the earth: wooden planks, collapsed houses and stone wells raised from the ground, shadows of what they were. Hijikata started as the smell of smoke assaulted him, strong and choking. He began to move, searching for clean air to breathe and to escape this village graveyard.

He turned, masking his mouth with his sleeve but a familiar glint of silver stopped him. Without thinking too much, he stumbled over towards it. Something familiar would be nice since he’d been ripped out of normality into some sort of other world. Just what had Gengai been fixing?!

“Gintoki?” He whispered, afraid of shattering this fragile existence. It was Gintoki, but Hijikata was quick to realise something was wrong. His boyfriend wasn't making an unnecessary racket, like expected. He was hovering before the remnants of an archway, maybe the entrance to a temple. He wasn't wearing his usual garish yukata adorned with a black undershirt. From the back presented to him, Hijikata could make out the glint of armoured shin pads and a long, white yukata stained a murky red colour at the edges. It was the kind of stain that had stubbornly persisted after many washes and water couldn’t get it out. Something told him not to call out. As Hijikata stealthily advanced without alerting Gintoki to his presence, the stranger tapped the wood with his fingers and mournfully watched it crumble.

“Shoyo.” He said, the words barely audible but Hijikata knew. He'd heard the whispers of nightmares on a cold night under the moon. He'd felt the night tremors shake Gintoki and the only word he could keep uttering during these uncommon fits was Shoyo, Shoyo, Shoyo. 

One more pace brought him five metres behind, but that was as far as he was apparently going to get as Gintoki swivelled in shock and a sword was glinting through the air before Hijikata could grasp his own katana in defence. The blade stopped a fingernail away from his throat, cold eyes pinning him to the spot.

“Who're you?” Gintoki grunted and despite the blade licking at his throat, Hijikata couldn't move. This was not his Gintoki. His eyes were dull, dead and lifeless, save for the spark of hostility forced to glint in his direction. Yeah, Gintoki's eyes were always dull but not like this. This was a look of utter and complete despair. The darkness under his eyes spelled weeks worth of sleepless nights, his skin seemed to hang off his cheek bones and everything was grey. His pallor, his dirtied clothes - they were all a dull, dull grey.

“Gin...toki?” The words left his mouth before he could bite them back. Confusion flashed across Gintoki's face and the sword edged away slightly but didn’t remove itself.  
“You … know me?”  
“Maybe not ...” Hijikata admitted and kept his eyes on the stranger before him. His chest felt tighten; he'd never seen Gintoki look so defeated. He had also never been at the other end of his malice. No matter how brutal their argument had become, Gintoki had never given him this expression. The katana at his neck rattled again in impatience, calling for attention.  
“Answer me or you’ll lose your head.”  
“Who do you think you're talking to, asshole!” Hijikata immediately growled. Something about being with Gintoki sparked an innate irritation reaction programmed into him. The sword faltered. That cute befuddlement contorted Gintoki's face and the chest pain faded slightly. It wasn't Gintoki, but it still was at the same time. From the look of it, this was a younger Gintoki. How he'd got here, he had no idea. Maybe he’d passed out from being electrocuted and was having a very lucid dream.

Regardless of whether he knew this Gintoki or not, or even if this version would carry out his threats, Hijikata was not letting the guy threaten him – more so if he was just a brat. Gintoki's eyes flicked to Hijikata's sheathed katana and seemingly he came to a decision. The sword retracted and Gintoki stepped away.

“You'd better get out of here. Amanto troops are advancing this way.”  
“Don't tell me what to do.”  
“Hah?!” His mouth hung open; obviously he hadn’t expected a stubborn stranger.  
“What are you doing here?”  
“Why are you...?” The samurai shook his head in disbelief but Hijikata raised an expecting eyebrow. “Stupid old man.”  
“I'm not old!”  
“Stupid old man!”  
“Don't say it twice! And don't dodge the question.” Hijikata stepped forward as the younger Gintoki moved away from him. He was completely on his back foot now, the growling bad guy façade little more than a child's bravado.  
“Why would I tell you?” He pouted, bottom lip protruding outwards ever so slightly. God, he hadn't changed.  
“Because I asked, you damn brat-”  
“I'm not a brat.”  
“Then I'm not an old man.” Hijikata waited. Red eyes frowned, then looked away and that previous sadness crept back once more. He hated that look. It was misplaced on someone who hid what he felt so well.   
“This was where I used to live, before it was burned to the ground.”  
“Mmm.” Hijikata looked around at the barren land. It had probably been turned to cinders a few years ago, not recently. Something had brought Gintoki back here. “It's … nice.” Gintoki shot him a scathing glare, but Hijikata easily deflected it.  
“Someone I know … was killed two days ago. I just came back to return something of his.”

Shoyo.

Hijikata pondered on what to say. He thought about saying nothing at all but the dead, red eyes beside him were burning holes of vengeful hatred into the ground and he couldn’t leave him be. There was so much raw pain in young Gintoki. It must have been breaking him from the inside out and from his complexion, he wasn’t too many steps away from destroying himself.

“A not-so wise man once told me,” he began, leaving a suitable pause to catch Gintoki's attention. “That it's always darkest just before dawn. But don't close your eyes, because those who turn their eyes away from the darkness won't be able to see the light shining on them tomorrow.” Turning his head, he found that Gintoki was gazing at him with slight dismay. A red burn hit his face. “Or something ...” He mumbled. Then, the young Gintoki did something unusual.

He laughed.

It started off as a small chuckle, whilst a smile began to lighten his face. It lasted less than ten seconds, but that was enough to alleviate his expression a little when it ended. For Hijikata, it ended too soon.

“I'll remember that.” Gintoki sighed and looked up at the darkening sky as rain clouds began to circle. At that moment, the buzzing from earlier began to spark up in Hijikata's veins. His whole existence seemed to flicker like the image of an old television and Hijikata knew he was going back or waking up or whatever the hell it was. Young Gintoki wasn’t watching him, admiring the clouded sky with substantially more relaxed composure than when they first met. Hijikata was going to call out to him, but everything wiped out. A second later, he jolted back to Gengai's garage.

“Hijikata?!” Gintoki, his Gintoki, was above him with a worried expression. Seconds of confusion dragged by until Hijikata realised he was back and he was on the floor. The buzzing had gone. “Hijikata, oi, can you hear me?!” His eyes sharpened into focus.  
“Shu'rup.” He complained, sitting upright with several grunts. Gintoki offered a hand on his back but it wasn’t necessary.  
“You got yourself electrocuted, you damn moron! Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with things when you don't know what they are?”  
“She also told me to marry a good wife from a wealthy family. You're neither a woman, nor rich. And you ain't good.” The furrowed brow on Gintoki's expression eased away and Hijikata swore he smiled a little, possibly in relief. He erased this instantly and burst into the usual bout of insults but all Hijikata could think of was he was back.

“We're not married, fool. And I make the perfect wife. My baking is superb.”

This was his Gintoki.

“C'mere.” Hijikata muttered, pulling Gintoki mid-rant into a strong embrace. The words melted out of Gintoki into an unintelligible slur. Hijikata held him to his chest and nuzzled his face into his neck to breathe him in. One hand softly patted the head of curls. He'd been through a lot, his Gintoki. He'd never said anything but the demons were there.  
“Old man,” Gintoki whispered, frozen. “Can you call an ambulance?”  
“'m fine.”  
“Oh. Okay.” His tone said that he didn’t believe him and the rustle of hands suggested he was silently gesturing to Gengai. Hijikata held on for a moment longer, then began to pull away. Gintoki let him and that oh so adorable furrow of his brow was back. “Did you hit your head? Not at birth, like now?”  
“Maybe.” He shrugged.  
“Since you're in a good mood … wanna go at it? YAHK!-”

The bruise Gintoki had lasted a week; the unimpressed glares from Hijikata lasted a week and a half; the pouting baby phase from Gintoki lasted two whole weeks.


	2. Interlocking Fingertips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where does Hijikata end up this time? From a cold heart to a warm one, along a timeline that extends from sword flashes to interlocking fingertips.  
> [Part 2 of Into Your Silver Core, An Alternative]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Putting this here because it seems more fitting! Enjoooooy~

“Why can't we ever just walk straight to a bar?” Hijikata complained, whacking Gintoki and sending his permy head jolting forward with an _oft_! “Why do we always gotta 'nip in' somewhere?”   
“Stop complaining, it's on the way.” Gintoki rubbed his head with a pout.  
“It's in the complete opposite direction of town.”  
“Pft, details.” He shrugged.

Gintoki had been pouting for a while. They had argued early that morning and he still hadn't quite forgiven Hijikata. In fact, Hijikata was surprised that he had agreed to come out tonight. They went out every Wednesday as an unsaid rule because it was the day that Hijikata finished patrols early and he didn't have to go in the next morning. That meant he could spend the night … wherever. Not that he was after that, he would adamantly insist when Gintoki teased. Though, it was how most nights ended – Hijikata at Gintoki's apartment, that is. The kids also slept at Otae's on Wednesday by default nowadays. 

Gintoki sent a few stones skittering with a huff and a flick of his boot.

“Stop pouting or I'm leaving,” Hijikata blew smoke into Gintoki's face until he whined and scratched at the air, muttering curses. They finally rounded the corner to Gengai's and Gintoki adjusted his grip on the TV set in his arms. The old man had seen them and immediately turned away, mining his nose for something more interesting to look at.  
“Oi! Old man! Don't ignore me!” Gintoki yelled.

The item that needed to be fixed was reluctantly examined and Hijikata began to fiddle with the table of half-fixed machines just inside the entrance. Gintoki chatted away as was usual, and Gengai supplied distracted grunts in reply as he unscrewed the back of the television. They debated the price, then argued, then fought. Gintoki was complaining animatedly and showing the old man his near-empty wallet. Hijikata immediately avoided looking their way before he became Gintoki's personal bank account. Again.

It looked like he would be a while and not the 'five minutes' he had promised. Though, it was always this way. That's what you got when you dated someone so chatty. Despite his talkative nature, Hijikata recalled the few times he had seen Gintoki down. At those rare times, not a word could be squeezed out of him. Once or twice Hijikata had awoken to Gintoki in this state sat up beside him. He figured that Gintoki hadn't slept well. He tried to talk him out of it but the latter wasn't responding. He gave grunts and shakes of his head. Yes, he was all right. No, he didn't need anything. Yes, he’d go back to sleep soon. Hijikata had always expected Gintoki to be quite brazen and loud even when he was upset or angry. It transpired that he became the opposite. Instead of screaming and wailing, as he usually would, Gintoki would go quiet – an eerie contrast.

It wasn't often Hijikata was able to see that side of him, which he was both thankful for and bothered by. He never discussed what he was thinking and wouldn't seek out help when he was like that. He clammed up, lips tightly shut, heart closed off to the world. The more time Hijikata spent with him, the more he wanted to jam it open and free him from the demons that haunted him. He was always reminded of himself in these moments because they were alike in that they kept their fears to themselves and there were always little monsters hiding in the back of their consciousnesses which remained concealed. Hijikata only differed in that he would cover up for his monsters, carry on like they weren’t there, but for Gintoki, the whole world seemed to stop. 

“A week?!” Gintoki screeched Hijikata out of his monologue.  
“I've got a lot of work on my hands, Ginnoji!”  
“That means I have to miss out on a week of Ketsuno Ana?!” Gintoki wailed. Hijikata let out a disapproving snort from his nose. 

Hijikata drowned out the noise again and started flicking a few switches on the dead equipment before him. There was a metal disfigurement on the table, opened up like a dead carcass with its insides spilled everywhere. He thumbed the buttons absent mindedly, until a sudden jolt ran through his fingers. Hijikata looked at his hands in surprise, feeling the buzz melt away slowly. 

_Shit, must have still been connected._ He mused. _That was close. Could'a electrocuted myself._

A second after the buzzing died out, a kick of energy exploded in Hijikata's being. He muttered something akin to 'oh shit' as he watched his fingertips disappear into tiny sparkles. _Here it is,_ he thought in his last moments of reality, _at least one stupid thing always happens when I'm with this moron._

The gentle fuzzing of his whole body was actually rather pleasant. The screeching whine, not so much. Hijikata had never imagined what being electrocuted would feel like but right now he expected this was it, except for some reason it didn't hurt. He looked up to see Gintoki because hey, it might even be the last time, and the perm was just standing there with one eyebrow raised. A pretty mild expression when Hijikata was literally disappearing. And with that said …

He vanished.

It wasn't for long though, or at least, it didn't feel like long until the world appeared before him again in a flash. He was back in Gintoki's apartment and he must have fainted and been brought here. In fact, he must have been out for a while since the sunrise was filtering through the open window of the yorozuya. The TV set, Hijikata noticed, was a completely new one – a bigger screen, quite futuristic. So he decided that his wallet must have been pilfered somewhere along the line. He couldn't remember standing up but there he was so it must have happened.

A groggy moan erupted from Gintoki's room as the morning demon arose. There was a pattering of feet and the door slid open. Red eyes glared at him for several, long seconds.

“Hmmphh... Ah!” recognition lit up his face, “You're back! Almost didn't recognise you with that hair. Takes me back a few years.” Hijikata raised both eyebrows but Gintoki didn't notice, shuffling for the fridge for his morning parfait as usual. Hijikata hated the fact that he could call something like that 'usual'.   
“What do you mean?” He frowned. Gintoki scratched his head looking at the empty expanse of the fridge before him. Hijikata noticed Gintoki's own hair looked longer and was tied up. Tied up? This was new. With a grunt, the door was closed again as Gintoki scoured the kitchen for another food source. The back of the fridge door was littered with pictures that Hijikata had never seen before – pictures of the two of them, some of the kids and even the shinsengumi. “What the hell are those doing on there?!”  
“I thought we had argued enough about those,” Gintoki moaned, wiping the sleep from his eyes. “I like them, they're staying. Stop being a spoil sport, Tosshi.”  
“T-t-!” Hijikata flared red.  
“You even put your damn pictures of that ugly stalker gorilla on so don't complain.” He continued, seemingly ignorant to the state of shock he had put Hijikata in. It's not like he hadn't ever considered Gintoki calling him by something else – somewhere along the line, they had to stop it with the 'demon commander' and 'yorozuya' routine. But this was so sudden and so … intimate. He wondered if Gintoki had even realised that he had said it aloud.   
“What happened at Gengai's?” Hijikata asked, deciding to pretend like it had never happened.  
“Hm? What?” Distractedly, he munched on a biscuit he'd withdrawn from some hidden jar.  
“How long was I out?”  
“What are you talking about? Like three weeks. I wasn't expecting you home until next Thursday.” H-home?! “Did you come back to show off your new haircut? I thought you were growing it out.”  
“ … Yorozuya, what the fuck are you talking about?”  
“Y-yorozuya?!” Gintoki shivered. “How distant! What's up with you?! What have I done now?!”  
“This ...” Hijikata could feel a headache coming on. This wasn't anything out of the ordinary, spending time with Gintoki, but he couldn't even keep track of this conversation. Was he dreaming? This all felt too real, though. The room had changed ever so slightly, and even Gintoki. His hair was definitely longer and there was a crease around his eyes that hadn't been there before. He looked older. Not old, but …

“Are you stressed?” Gintoki cocked his head to one side, lowering his voice to a soft murmur – one that made Hijikata's neck tingle, hairs standing on end. The word intimate throbbed around his head again. Gintoki was acting strange. As he walked towards Hijikata, he didn't take his eyes off him and he was locked into those red eyes again. “Trip didn't go well?”  
“A-ah,” he was stammering. A hand weaved its way into his hair, another around his waist. _Intimate._  
“Maybe you should rest, hm?” Gintoki whispered into his ear, nuzzling his neck and _oh my god._

Hijikata drew back, pushing Gintoki away. This was too close, something was wrong.

“Have you been d-drinking?” There he went again, stumbling over his words. Gintoki would catch onto that straight away.  
“At this time?! Not even _I'm_ that bad.” Gintoki stepped forwards; Hijikata crept away again. “What's wrong? What are you hiding from me?” He jolted, never meeting Gintoki's eyes because god, the man just wouldn’t look away.  
“I could ask you the same thing! What's gotten into you?”  
“Eh?”  
“You're acting strange!”  
“What?! Me? How so?! Arghh, we're just going round in circles. C'mere.” Suddenly he was pulled into Gintoki's broad chest, listening to the gentle beating of his heart. Arms wrapped around him and though his own heart was pounding in his ears … this was nice. Especially the way Gintoki breathed him in. A hand rubbed circles down his spine, undoing years of stress that had accumulated there. He began to breathe slower, the gentleness lulling him into a quiet place. They stayed like that for a while, tension oozing out of Hijikata and the longer he stayed there, the nicer it felt. Like sleeping next to a warm fire. This was a big jump for them, even if this was a dream, but it was a pleasant one. And something he wasn't about to reject. Maybe it had been a long time coming. 

It was at this point that Hijikata began to feel a familiar warm buzz.

“Sure there's nothing to tell me?” Gintoki asked, now working his fingers into his lower back, sending off waves of pleasure and all he wanted to do was rest there in his man's arms.  
“Mmmph.” He couldn't form a coherent reply – he couldn't be bothered. Gintoki chuckled and it was such a great feeling, the vibrations tickling his ear. He opened his eyes wearily and eyed up the photos on the fridge. He didn't recognise any of them. When had they been taken? There was one of Hijikata and Gintoki together and he had shoulder length hair - … what?   
“Kagura comes back to earth in a few days.” Shoulder length hair? His hair had been short since way before he had met Gintoki. Wait, Kagura wasn't on earth? “I moved your things out of the cupboard so she can sleep in there again.” His things? In Gintoki's apartment? The buzzing began to accelerate and his fingertips were numb. He pushed Gintoki away. 

“Thought you were being oddly obedient.” Gintoki grumbled, heading over to the sofa and flopping onto it. Hijikata remembered the electric feeling from earlier, when he had been in Gengai's. It was starting up again, the whine drowning out Gintoki's irritated pouting. He looked down at his fizzling fingers, or what remained of them. He was vanishing – again. Which was an odd thing to say once, never mind twice. “Ah, Otae told me to remind you that it's Shinpachi's 21st on Saturday. After how close you two have been, she expects you to do something I think.”  
“Eh?”  
“Don't 'eh' me, 'eh' her!” Gintoki switched on the TV. Hijikata's legs turned transparent. Gintoki looked over at him, confused by the silence. “Eh?!” He yelled, just before Hijikata disappeared.

A second later (or even less, it was hard to tell when it felt like your brain was being fried) Gintoki was frowning at him again but from across the room. In Gengai's place.

“What's up, Mr Policeman?”  
“My legs ...”  
“Hm?”  
“They're back. My legs are back.”  
“ … Do you … need to sit down?”  
“Maybe.” Hijikata nodded. He noticed there was a warmth in his chest that was missing. A flutter of expectation when he looked up at ... “Definitely.” He said. “Probably for a while.”

This feeling didn't seem like it would settle soon.


End file.
